Women NEED to Hear THIS...
If you’re in a relationship, does your partner compliment you enough? I went out with a guy a few times and one of the things I noticed is that he NEVER complimented me. I would think – is it me? Did I not look good? What gives?? For some people they just aren’t words people. For me, ‘Word of Affirmation’ is one of my top Love Languages, so I like need to hear things. I even tried the reverse action and would tell him he looked handsome. He would thank me and then crickets. –ha We even talked about love languages and he knew what mine were and I knew his…still, crickets. There comes a point where you just throw the fishing pole in the lake and that was mine.
In a recent survey 61% of women say their partner does not give them enough compliments and 84% of women feel their partner does not give them enough attention. Those are some high numbers of women feeling unappreciated, not seen, and most likely disconnected. Now in fairness, I’ve also had guy friends tell me the exact same thing. I think as women we sometimes forget that men also need compliments and to feel appreciated for more than taking out the trash. I will admit that is something I have consciously worked on in my relationships. But, I want to focus on what I understand better and relate to- women and our needs.
I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t flourish under a sincere compliment or appreciation. Even in a long term relationship- we like to hear when we look beautiful or sexy. In a new dating relationship – we definitely need and want to know that you find us attractive. It’s the same for wanting to hear how you feel about us. Don’t assume we know – we have trouble figuring you out like you do us! If you don’t say it- we don’t assume it. You don’t compliment us when we put some effort into a date night - we think you didn’t notice or don’t appreciate it. That’s why you’ll find women asking you how you feel about the relationship – you don’t say it and we don’t know. I think this is where men are different and sometimes think their actions are enough. Most women will tell you that is just not the case.
The thing about relationships (new or old) is that we (all of us) like to be seen, heard and feel that we matter. Some of us need to hear it more often than others, but we women still like to hear it. I’ve even practiced this with my teenage daughter. She often gets my bed ready for me at night. It’s the sweetest thing in the world and I made sure and told her the other night how much it means to me and why. I’m trying to practice what I preach and verbalize my love, appreciation and gratitude towards people.