“You’re looking for a unicorn, but you don’t really believe they exist.” This was what my therapist friend said to me years ago as I was telling her about my disappointment in the dating world. I was looking for a unicorn in a stall of mules. I was looking for someone that I didn’t really believe existed.
I think that sometimes we minimize our desires in life, because we don’t dream big enough. Whether it’s a new career, family or lasting love – we doubt how big the Universe’s capabilities truly are for us. We believe the lies of fear and self-doubt. Dreaming big is scary in our culture of fear.
I have often heard that my relationship expectations are too high. I need to compromise or I might be destined to be alone. I heard all of this, but didn’t give up hope. I am the hopeless romantic. After the unicorn comment, I had to shift my beliefs and start believing that unicorns existed. I had to believe in something I had never seen or found. Faith.
Intelligence, humor, kindness, compassion, someone committed to continual growth and who understands pain and heartbreak. Someone who could talk through their feelings and emotions and not feel weaker for it. A partner, friend and someone who wanted to be an active participant in life. Was this too much to ask for in a person?
No. It is not too much and my desires were not too big for the Universe. I asked out a guy – I went out of my comfort zone and met am amazing person who embodies all of this and more. Why? I didn’t settle for less. I went into the date with no expectations, except to get to know someone I was interested in. His desire seemed to be the same. Real conversations. Real laughter. Real connection.
I believe in dreaming big. I believe that whether it’s writing a best seller someday, owning a vacation home in Cabo or finding a love like no other – you have to dream big. You have to dream it to visualize something more. When we shut down our dreams, we shut down the Universe’s ability to give it to us.
Dream big and then have faith that it can happen. That is my message to myself in all areas of my life. It would have been easy to dismiss my heart’s desires after sooooooooo many bad dates. Believing in the unicorn sounded crazy to some. Then he took me to a Unicorn festival and I knew the Universe was indeed watching over me with a sense of humor.
Xoxo
