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  • Melissa Moore

Johnny Cochran Had THIS Right

A square peg in a round hole. If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit. This is sage advice, minus the inappropriate OJ reference. Forcing your way or will in a situation isn’t the way of peace.

I have always had a strong belief that when things are ‘right’ that you don’t have to force them. They just flow. Buying a house and hitting road block, after road block- walk away. A trip with canceled flights and an expired passport (Cabo 2019) – isn’t meant to be.

I deeply know this sage advice, but I also have been the girl trying to force the key into a broken lock. I want ‘my will' to work. I want my desired outcome in the situation! What I forget is that ‘my’ way is not working for a reason! The reason? The situation I’m trying to force isn’t meant to be my situation. The door that won’t open, isn’t opening for a damn good reason.

I have seen this in my life time after time. Houses that I wanted to buy that didn’t work out, jobs that never panned out despite my best efforts, relationships that I thought could work if only….NONE of them were meant to be. I was paddling upstream versus going with the flow of life.

I stayed in my marriage 9 years longer than I should have. I wanted to make it work and wanted my family to stay intact. Even though the signs were there that it wouldn’t work, I couldn’t wrap my head around taking my 2 year old daughter and leaving. Forcing that round peg into a square hole for 9 additional years had a price. Pain. Pain for me and pain for our family.

What dating post-divorce has taught me is this lesson all over again. The lesson that you would have thought was burned into my brain after my divorce- nope- left me like a case of amnesia. I wasn’t listening to my gut with dating, but trying to force my way. I learned in my post-divorce dating life that when it’s right it’s easy. Not perfect, not without effort, but there is an ease. A natural flow that just feels ‘right’. I had forgotten these lessons until Mr. Unicorn came into my life.

If something isn’t flowing or you’re not sure what to do about a situation- do nothing. That is probably the hardest aspect of going with the flow of life for me. Doing nothing and waiting.

For me, when I gave up online dating and finally threw in the towel- I met him. I’m not saying that online dating is bad –I am saying though that I knew my person wasn’t online. I knew that in my gut and yet would still go online. I couldn’t let go of what I thought should work. I didn’t trust my intuition.

This past year has been my year of gut lessons. Trips- like Cabo- that weren’t meant to happen were replaced with something far better (Scottsdale) than I could have dreamed of. I gave up on dating and finally met someone beyond what my heart thought was possible. Life definitely had a better plan.

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