My Embarrassing Secret
I have a secret to confess that apparently is shocking to some. I am socially embarrassingly awkward when it comes to meeting men. I don't know what happens to me, but I freeze up and quite literally have zero game. If you ever saw 'Bridget Jones Diary' - I'm her.
Recently I went on vacation to Cabo with a girlfriend of mine. We were both single and thought, maybe I'll meet someone down here. First day we spent on the beach in a cabana and I socialized with the resort girls around us swimmingly well. Then we went to jump into the pool and that's where I embarrassed myself.
As I'm swimming around in my orange bikini, I noticed a good looking European man. He was playing with a young boy, so I assumed he was married. When he heard me say I was cold he offered to buy me a drink. What smooth move did I do? I smiled and swam away!
Hearing my girlfriend Jasmine (life coach extraordinaire) tell the story it's even funnier and more embarrassing. As she told me, I was shocked that you did that. I wasn't shocked, that is the extent of my 'game'. I have absolutely none, which is probably why online dating has 'worked' better for me.
With an online date I knew they were interested in me and knew it was a 'date'. Hence why this new era of trying not to be meet someone online doesn't seem to be off to a very good start. #crashandburn
After hashing out this man mishap in my head, I knew I needed to figure some things out. What is wrong with me that I freeze up and will literally swim away from a handsome man?
Fast forward to my recent encounter with a guy at the grocery store. I'm back from Cabo and forgot my grocery savings card. I ask the very young cashier if he has one I can use and he just blank stares at me. That's when handsome guy with curls pops over to my lane and puts his phone # into their system to help me save money. He smiles, I smile and say thank you. So far I'm nailing this whole encounter!
As I load my groceries into Jolene I notice Curls loading his ice and makings of a party into his Yeti coolers. I decide to go out of my comfort zone and drive over to say thank you. Seriously, I can feel J's applause for this bold and brave move. I roll down my window and say thanks- he smiles and says any time. Score. Victory. Melissa 1.
Apparently, I really didn't nail this encounter. I tell J all about it and she says and....
And what? "Did you give him your number?" Umm - no. Never crossed my mind.
I have no idea how I'm going to meet someone with my level of social inaptitude. I told my therapist about all of this and she said she was shocked too. Great - now my therapist is even surprised.
I feel like this story should have a happy ending about a man falling in love with my quirkiness. Maybe some day that will be the end of this story, but for now it awkwardly ends right here.
Above picture is same day, same pool, same bikini as above story.