Women Don't Rest Until We Break

I have not left my house since 6:57am on Thursday.  No, I am not being held hostage, although it feels like that at this point.  Instead, these four days trapped in my house have been with an overly kind and thoughtful husband who is dealing with someone who keeps saying they don’t have time to be sick.  Hint, it’s me. 

When I am busy and exhausted a sick day sounds lovely, but that is from the perspective of a relatively healthy person who just needs rest.  I remember when my husband had his stent surgery this past March and had to stay in the hospital overnight.  We were walking the halls of our local hospital looking for his room when I realized that he had a quiet corner room facing west with a beautiful view of the mountains!  He was irritated about having to stay, while I enviously sighed wishing I could check myself in for just one night.  I just wanted a quiet night of rest and relaxation, ordering food that would be brought to me and deep sleep.  For anyone that has spent time in a hospital, you know that is not what you’re there for or what happens.  Yet, I was so tired physically and emotionally, that a ‘sick’ day sounded divine.

Here we are in November, and I’ve had 4 sick days in a row locked in like I’m on house arrest.  The daydream of a ‘sick day’ is not reality.  I’ve gone through 4 entire boxes of Kleenex, popped pills like it’s a way of life and been pondering where snot comes from and how can a body make so much?  I’ve also had two pets superglued to my side as I’ve made my way through shows on my ‘someday when I have time list’.  Although my husband has been a rockstar, true sick days aren’t a day at the spa with Margo bringing me cucumber water. 

As women we run ourselves into the ground before waving the white flag.  We ignore our bodies telling us to slow down and rest, with the excuse of I don’t have time to slow down.  We say yes, when we should say no, and keep going even when our body’s check engine light pops on.  We feel something coming on and continue making the dinners, running kids around and showing up for work and our people.  We are also the biggest hypocrites who will be the first to tell others to slow down and rest, but rarely do we take our own advice. 

It's no wonder that women ignore early signs of cancer and heart attacks until they’re forced to go the ER, and then we often drive ourselves!  Why is it that resting and doing ‘nothing’ when we’re healthy feels lazy?  Why do we feel the need to go, go, go from sunup to sundown?  I know this is why I and so many other women go until our bodies say nope, you’re done dumbass. 

I would love to think that I will approach life differently after this round of bulla boo, but I won’t.  I would love to think that we as women will start putting our health first, but I know that will remain a struggle for many of us.  It usually takes our bodies breaking down for us to take that day off or a day of nothing that we need. 

As we are approaching the busiest time of the year, this is my reminder to future me and today you to slow down.  Use hand sanitizer but also slow down and rest when you can.  Xoxo

My cellmates - Toothless &Dash