Doctors Need To Start Seeing and Hearing Women Especially with Hormones

Sometimes you just want to be seen. I recently went to the doctor armed with all my test results and an AI summary of what has been going on with my health and hormones. I walked in the door, climbed the steps and stood before the receptionist mentally and physically exhausted. Menopause was kicking my ass and I was desperate for someone to help me. At a minimum, I just wanted to be seen and feel acknowledged in my knowing that something wasn't right. Unfortunately, this doctor visit wouldn't give me the answers I needed, but at a minimum I felt seen.

If you had told me in my 30's that perimenopause and menopause would be more difficult than the painful cramps and years of 'female problems' I'd encountered, I would have laughed it off. How could the menopause era be worse than having to go to the ER for morphine shots for uncontrollable cramping pain? How could this era be worse than experimental surgery to partially cut the tendons holding my uterus, all in hopes of alleviating cramps that left me bed ridden. It may not be as painful, but it's definitely an era that is telling my body to hold it's beer.

I could go on and on about one hormone being too high, one too low and another that is leaving doctors stumped, but I know I'm not unique in this journey. What I wish I could convey to every doctor dealing with women is this, see us, hear us and don't disregard what we're telling you. We know our bodies, we know when something is off and we need your help putting all the puzzle pieces together. If doctors feel ill equipped, get additional training. We're doing everything we can, but we can't write our own prescriptions.

As for all my sisters going through some part of this journey with me, here is our part: advocate. Relentlessly advocate for yourself. You and only you know exactly how your body is feeling. You and only you know when something is wrong and feels off. Don't put up with feeling like crap, having brain fog, being irritable and feeling like your libido died a slow and ugly death. You are meant to live loudly and beautifully, don't settle for anything less.

Being our own advocate comes with a healthy dose of frustration. We will be told that we're fine, our results are within normal ranges, and that how we're feeling is just a season of life. BS! Don't give up and don't settle for feeling anything other than vibrant. You have fought long and hard to get to this time in your life, and you deserve to look and feel like the best and most beautiful version of you that you imagine. Keep this vision front and center and don't let anyone steer you away from it.

For me, that vision is someone with energy, laughter, friends, health and a young mind. I have been so frustrated by doctors and the "oh, I don't deal with ..." mentality that I refuse to accept it. I made an appointment two months ago to see a functional MD. It's a female owned and ran clinic that specializes in women's health. My wait to get in has felt long and frustrating - three months - but I am just praying that the wait is worth it. I need someone to see me, hear me and medically be able to help. I need someone to look beyond the test results, pills, patches and wearing off pellets and work with me towards overall health. I need to be seen, heard and told that what I'm feeling matters.

I know this is a strong requirement, but I don't care, I deserve it and need it. For the past several years I've been trying to put the puzzle pieces of perimenopause and menopause together and the pieces aren't fitting. I've been using AI and although it's been a great source of information and insight, it can't figure out a game plan or look me in the eyes. On that note, if you haven't used AI and downloaded all your tests and symptoms into it, try it. See what the analysis is and what is recommended. Using AI for my medical lab results and symptoms didn't fix me, but it did give me the extra nudge to know that something wasn't right and the courage to keep going.

My sisters, this is our time. This is our one beautiful and precious life and we deserve to live it abundantly. As poet Mary Oliver wrote, "what will you do with your one precious and wild life?". xox

American Poet - Mary Oliver