Almost a year ago I received the haircut from hell. I have no idea how or why she cut my hair like a mullet, but she did. I felt like the 1990’s version of Blake Shelton and it wasn’t pretty. Sorry Blake.
Having a bad haircut isn’t the end of the world. In the scheme of ‘big’ issues, it’s not even on the bottom of the list. I have a friend who lost all her hair during chemo. Cancer is a big deal, my mullet is not a BFD. I readily admit this and yet recognize that my mullet from hell has been a source of stress and low self-esteem.
I really tried to deal with my mullet. Hats became my best friends and I bought every product/vitamin/supplement that might help my hair heal and grow. After 8 months of holistic efforts, my hair gave me the middle finger. Also, you are going to gain weight post hysterectomy as you’re rocking your new mullet. Have fun! Big kisses-Satan.
Somehow, in the mess of my struggling ego I decided that expensive hair extensions were the holy answer to the mullet issue. What I wish I had known before handing over my debit card is this; I don’t like fake hair in my hair. Fake hair feels itchy, weird and is very high maintenance. In fact, just like I want to like fake nails but pick them off within days – I will feel the same about the hair extensions. Not me.
A bad haircut is a big deal to a woman. Our hair is part of our identity. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix to a bad haircut that doesn’t involve hair extensions or a buzz cut. I don’t dismiss that I was all in my feelings and couldn’t handle the discomfort when I got my extensions. My inner critique was having a field day between the mullet and weight gain. I couldn’t instantly fix the weight problem, but I could fix my hair.
My dream was that I would feel like a better version of myself with my fake hair. I might even feel so good that I would work-out, join a gym and lose some weight. I had high hopes for my extensions and their ability to transform my life.
That’s my crazy brain for you. My bad haircut made me feel less attractive and fat. For someone with body image issues, that's not a good place to be. The mullet was my trigger to freaking out and letting my inner critique run wild.
I was hoping the extensions would quiet the critique. At best the extensions were a fancy band aid.
Feeling all my feelings can be a lot. The extensions haven’t been the answer any more than my extreme diet last year was the answer. That’s all outer stuff that I know deep down doesn't work. I knew this…yet I was still hoping for the quick fix.
Quick fixes sound attractive, but they don't work. I have yet to find one that brought about real internal change and peace. I know for sure that they can’t change the essence of the mullet cut, because I still see it when I brush out my money locks. And no, I haven't taken them out... yet. Did I mention how stupid expensive they were? Maybe I should have spent the money on therapy?
Xxoo
Nov. 2021 March 2022 August 2022
August 2022 - With Extensions
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