MELISSA MOORE MEDIA

& MOORE 4 LOVE BLOG 

Welcome to the home of Melissa Moore Media & Moore 4 Love blog. I'm so flipping' excited that you're here!  My hope is that this blog will make you laugh, think and realize that we're in this together.  xxoo Melissa

 

LITTLE ABOUT ME...

Melissa Moore

I'm an outspoken 40 something single mom living in Denver who also hosts a local radio show every day on Denver's #1 radio station.  Radio is in my blood- I grew up in the business and hosted shows in Minneapolis, Nashville (syndicated), Orlando and Muncie, IN. The only thing I've done longer than radio is write.  Writing gives me freedom and allows me to connect to our crazy life.  My daughter is my heart and my love.  She is funny, smart, kind and on the autism spectrum.  She has taught me what is important and real about life. Personally, I'm navigating the very scary dating world at this stage of my life and I have no idea what I'm doing.  Like so many of us- I've survived a lot in my life.  I often draw on my experiences of abuse, addiction, divorce, cancer and not just surviving but thriving and growing. Outside of my family and friends I have mad love for coffee, HGTV, cooking, my English Bulldog Cisco and all things Colorado . I believe love is love, God is bigger than we allow Him to be and that he's got a wicked sense of humor.  I believe in love.  Love always wins. xxoo

 
 
 
 
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  • Melissa Moore

How I Messed Up Dating - Pt. 1

Jumping into dating right after a divorce is like jumping on a ship and shooting a hole in the bottom of it.  Not a good idea and you’ll take down whoever is along for the ride.  I know this because… I did it.  Phew, dirty secret #1001 is now out there.  Although I talk a lot about online dating and the weirdness that is out there, I also want to be transparent about my role.  To be blunt, my first foray into the dating world was a mess and I was to blame for a lot of it.


In all fairness, I thought I was ready to date, but I wasn’t ready at all!   I was a big hot mess of a divorcee with no dating experience and a luggage rack full of emotional baggage.  I thought I wanted a relationship, when all I wanted was not to be alone. If you’re not sure which one you are….that’s a huge clue. For me, I wasn’t used to sleeping alone, being alone or even understanding what being single looked like in my 40’s. True confession– I had been in relationships since I was 16 years old and had rarely ever been single/alone.  I was scared of being alone and feeling all the feelings that were popping up like Jiffy Popcorn.  Yet, what I needed was just that – to be alone.  Then you add in being in my 40’s, a single mom and this new thing called online dating = HOTmess!  I was dragging my proverbial baggage along like old luggage without wheels!


Let me be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and figuring out what you want.  That is by definition what healthy dating is really all about.  Taking the time to go out, meet someone and analyze intellectually if that person is a good fit for you. In fact, I believe that both parties should be doing this. My issue was me.  I didn’t know who I was anymore.  I was feeling lost, scared, lonely and sad.  I was mourning the death of my relationship and the dreams that went along with it.  I was now the only adult in the house and the responsibilities felt huge.  I was wounded, but needed to appear to have my ‘stuff’ together for my daughter.   I had also just been diagnosed with melanoma (cancer) and was navigating surgeries with my parenting schedule, so that my daughter wouldn’t find out.  I had no business dating!


I think we can agree at this point that I didn’t do the divorce, post-divorce and dating thing well.  In fact, I think I probably caused a lot of my own stumbling and heartache.  Yes, I went out with some weirdos (face licker, lotion in a basket guy, criminal on the run…) but I think know that had I been in a better place I wouldn’t have chosen/attracted them.  What’s the Maya Angelou saying, “When you know better, you do better.”  That’s most of us, isn’t it?  It’s also true for dating – you learn, change and start to get it.  You realize your role in the dating fiascoes and vow to do things differently. I’ll tell you right now that this time around I recognize the duds and odd ducks easier. I also will admit that I’ve gone on fewer dates, but they’ve been better quality dates.  Still some duds, but no one licking my face so I feel like that’s a win. xoxo



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