You have to be able to have a conversation on a date. I recently went out with a VERY good-looking guy. Former college football player with that amazing body that made me think ‘how is that even possible’. Good looking. Also, seemed close to his family and had a good sense of humor. Sounds good so far, right? It was except for the most crucial point. Conversation. Being able to have a good conversation is huge for me. We talked on the phone the day before and I made a current events reference that he had no clue about. Okay, not everybody is a news junkie – give him a little grace. He also didn’t ask me hardly anything about myself. Red flag. Then he told me that he thinks of himself as still “cool”. To which I told him, “All middle aged guys feel that way about themselves.” We laughed – he had a good sense of humor.
The next night we meet for a ‘drink’. We’re sitting at the bar and he’s facing the TV screens, meanwhile I am angled towards him. I’m big on eye contact. He’s not talking. Not like long pauses between subjects not talking, I mean not talking and staring at the TV screens. Okay, maybe he’s nervous…I’ll talk first.
After 30 minutes of me being the only one to ask questions, I decide to stop. I’m exhausted from effort. I interview for a living - I can get anyone to talk but I can’t get everyone to engage. SO I think, let’s see what happens when I stop. You know what happened?? Nothing. He was staring at the TV and watching the commercial for ‘Flex Seal’ and the new clear seal ( it shows a guy in a homemade boat floating on his ‘Flex Seal’ plexi-glass boat). Good-looking: Hmm, I wonder if that is a real boat? Me: I doubt it seeing how they just showed the guy making it with plexi-glass panels and flex seal. GL: Oh. Me: Yep.
I can give you numerous examples, but let’s just say that conversation is not his thing. I’m sure he is a good person, but I just can’t be with someone (friend or otherwise) who can’t have a conversation. I’m a curious person by nature, I like people. Even if it’s not a love connection, I enjoy learning more about someone’s story and who they are today. I find it curious and perplexing that not everyone cares about this aspect of life. You’d think that after all this talking by me and not talking that the date would be a flop for both of us. Nope. In fact, he thought the date went better than it did. He wanted to know if I could go out the next day. I couldn’t or wouldn’t or just can’t do that to myself again. So after an hour of me drinking club soda, him asking if I’d eaten, me responding no and him not saying anything – he asks for the check and we leave. He walks me to my car, which is when my classic awkwardness came out.
I felt him thinking about kissing me and I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I did what any woman would do. I went in fast for a quick hug. In the process, because I’m awkward and was nervous, I nailed him with my purse. Then the unexpected happens, he picks me up. We’re hugging and he picks me up off the ground, squeezes me and cracks my back! Now I have to admit my back was tight and it really was an amazing back crack. Like one one of
those where you feel it down your whole spine. But…this is awkward seeing how I have no idea what his last name is and we’re in a dark parking lot. He puts me down and me being awkwardly trained says, “ Wow - you’re strong. Thanks for the back crack.” GL: You’re welcome. Awkward silence as I’m backing up to my car door. I say good night, wave even though he’s two feet away and get inside. Seriously, what is wrong with me? I start my car and realize I’m still starving and head to Chick-Fil-A. As I’m driving home eating my waffle fries I think to myself, better vetting needed. One and done.
xoxo
