One Decision to a Different Life

Think about the power in this statement, you are only one decision away from a totally different life. It sounds grandiose and it is, but yet it is also so simple. Every day we make thousands of decisions that have a more unconscious feel to them. We drive to the grocery store and take the route that is merely muscle memory. We log into our computers without really thinking about the passwords that we're entering. Those decisions seem to come from some type of muscle memory or habit. The ones I'm talking about are the decisions that keep rolling around in our brain and asking what if...

Ten years ago I felt a stirring in my soul that something big was coming. I wasn't sure what it would be, but I knew that the life I was living was about to change. I felt the change coming as if it were a strong wind whipping down from the mountains. My soul was stirring and when the question and decision finally formed in my brain, I had a life altering choice to make.

For me, that decision involved staying in a marriage that wasn't healthy, or leaving and stepping into the unknown of being a single woman and mom. After 15 years of marriage it wasn't an easy thought to contemplate and an even harder choice to execute. My gut, my knowing, also knew that once I let the choice take root in my brain I could no longer count on my unconscious muscle memory to carry me forward in my current life. It was if the stirring in my soul put concrete on my feet and forced me to stand still, be fully present and awake so that I could make my choice.

I believe that we have all stood at the proverbial fork in the road and internally debated on which direction to move towards. We've done the pros and cons lists, we've consulted friends and family and we've lost many sleepless nights wondering about the what ifs. What if I make the choice that is unpopular or unknown? What if I fail? What if I make the wrong decision?

We all have thoughts and dreams rolling around in our bodies asking for us to stop, think and possibly choose something different. For some it's a relationship that we need to leave, for others it may be a massive career change, or it could be a relocation because we've seen enough House Hunters Internationals to know it's our time.

I have thought about the fork in the road often and even visualized what it looks like in my mind. In my vision I see a country dirt road with tall grasses and wildflowers surrounding it. Up ahead at the crossroads is a big oak tree with signs pointing in two different directions. Nailed on that centuries old oak tree are two hand painted wooden signs with arrows pointing towards opposite paths. The signs look the same, hand painted on some old barn wood, with a rusty nail holding them in place, but they are pointing at two different lives.

When I finally walk to the end of this dusty dirt road, and arrive at the weather beaten signs, I can clearly see the choices in front of me. Standing with my dust covered shoes and old backpack I pause and contemplate what each direction would mean to my life. The biggest question is the soul one, it keeps asking me which way do I want to go?

Standing in the quiet before change is where the knowing recognizes that the next steps will change the trajectory of our lives. This deep knowing also warns us that to make a change will require action and movement on our part. Move our feet, make the next right choice and keep going forward. That is the effort the new path will take, but it also requires having our eyes wide open and walking fully awake.

Big decisions for me require a soul kind of quiet before I can choose. Once I've over analyzed my questions, thought over the possible outcomes and weighed feedback from others, I have to quiet my spirit to find my answer. Once I know what I want to do, starting down the path may not always be easy, but there is usually a peace that accompanies me. It's that peace, that knowing in my soul, that allows me to step into the unknown.

The other lesson I've learned is that the soul tug is usually towards the direction that requires more risk and comes with a healthy dose of fear. At it's core and simplest form my fear is usually about self-doubt and the fear of failure. I'm sure a shrink would also point out that I hate surprises, and yes, a new life choice is always full of the unexpected.

In fact looking at my life and experiences I would say don't count on what you expect. Just because you choose a path that you feel lead towards, doesn't mean it will be perfect or easy. Sometimes it might even feel like the worst decision you'e ever made. But, what if that path's purpose wasn't the end goal, but a step needed to get you towards something bigger?

I can't say that my big life decisions have always been easy, in fact the opposite has usually been true. What I can say is that I knew standing at the dusty road juncture that I was ready to take the risk and make the turn. I knew that either path was making a life altering decision and I decided which choice I could live with in my soul. xox

Rocky Mountain National Park - 2025